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A sense of humor is one of the most important things a person can have, especially when dealing with environmental issues. Scientists tend to creep out of their labs from time to time and dole out the bad news like a porridge chef in an orphanage. Trying to keep a cheery disposition can be difficult.
But I will tell you what. There are a few environment-related jokes out there that are done. They've been played out completely. In terms of funniness, they are equivalent to "Hot enough for you?" and "Wokka Wokka." These jokes are through, over, kaput, finished. Just please stop saying them. They make my brain hurt.
1. The Anti-Green
The other day was Earth Day. It's a fun day to celebrate the planet on which we live. Here is a joke I saw repeated 600,000 times.
"For Earth Day, I am going to celebrate by driving an SUV with the AC on while clubbing a seal and throwing trash on the ground."
Do you get the joke? It is the opposite of what you should do on Earth Day.
Sorry, Charlie. This joke lost its zest back when Air Supply was topping the charts. But it chugs on into the new millennium like a rim shot or jazz hands.
2. Green is Slang for Marijuana
For those of you who haven't seen Pineapple Express or Cheech and Chong, green is slang for marijuana. OK. Fine. I don't care what you put into your body. That's not my business. Live your life. Keep me out of it.
But do I really have to hear a pot joke every time I talk about Planet Green? Really? Do you think I haven't heard it a million times? Do you think you're the Leonardo Da Vinci of connecting the dots between environmentalism green and marijuana green?
Just stop it. Stop it. Please.
3. Why is There Still Cold?
When I lived in the Midwest, it would get cold there. I think it was called winter. I've been living in Los Angeles so long I can't quite remember what seasons are like. ( I realize that my jokes aren't much better than the ones I am railing against, but at least I admit it.)
In the wintertime, it gets cold and folks will say this:
"Hey. I'm all for global warming if it means less days like these."
I realize that this is a harmless joke. But It's time for a new one.
4. I Hope They Fall in the Ocean
You don't hear this one near the ocean so much, but in the center of the country, California is treated like some sort of boogeyman. "They are crazy there." "It's a den of iniquity." "I wouldn't be so bad if they fell in the ocean."
First of all, it's not nice to joke about losing a state to global warming.
Secondly, It's not so bad here. The people are nice and the weather is better than anything you can imagine. My theory is that California pays a publicist to give the state a bad rap. That way, everyone won't try to move here all at once.
