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The green movement is far from monolithic. Some make tiny choices while others aim to dismantle but, no matter what, all my granola brethren want one thing: change.
Then, of course, you have that other breed of Homo sapiens who seem unperturbed by, say, drowning polar bears. You know who you are...the person unmoved by reports of glaciers gone missing or livestock methane clouds. "What has all this got to do with me?" you sneer. "Why should I care?"
Well, I'm glad you asked, friends, because global warming sucks. This is far worse than rooting for the Chicago Cubs (or sitting through another Eddie Murphy movie.) Global warming totally sucks for everyone. Whether you wanna admit it or not, you're being impacted by that major league suckage. How? Let me count the ways...
Here's Why Global Warming Totally Sucks for Everyone
1. It's gonna cost you a lot of money:
A recent study by the Global Development and Environment Institute at Tufts University suggests that inaction in the face of global warming crises could result in a $20 trillion price tag by 2100. Let's see...$20 trillion divided by 6 billion humans. You do the math.
2. You'll be subjected to more insufferable benefit concerts:
Yep, without your help to end global warming and create a far more earth-friendly human culture, we'll be stuck witnessing millionaire pop stars jetting across the globe to lecture us about responsibility. Consider the 2007 Live Earth photo ops, I mean, concerts: sponsored by Chevy (not Chevy Chase, but Chevy?as in Chevrolet?as in bailout) with carbon intensive burgers, franks, and chicken sold at the concert venues.
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California's avocado crops are expected to yield 40% less than current harvests. Then there's a hops shortage and failed barley crops. Finally, let's not forget a decrease in white ash trees. Take-home message: Without avocados, there's no guacamole. No hops and barley = no beer. The wood from white ash trees is used to make baseball bats. Without bats, how can we have a World Series? 4. Expect to get bitten: Thanks to climate change, you might be on the menu for marauding mosquitoes, voracious jellyfish, and sleep-deprived bears. 5. It'll be awfully tough to make a fashion statement: Whether it's mutant hurricanes threatening to send your new hat flying or molten lava on your shoes or high water pants coming back in style or heat waves making you contemplate life as a nudist, global warming will give new meaning to the phrase, "what not to wear." 6. You may need good waterproof boots: As National Geographic explains: "Thermal expansion has already raised the oceans 4 to 8 inches. But that's nothing compared to what would happen if, for example, Greenland's massive ice sheet were to melt." Jonathan Overpeck is the director of the Institute for the Study of Planet Earth at the University of Arizona in Tucson. "The consequences would be catastrophic," Overpeck explains. "Even with a small sea level rise, we're going to destroy whole nations and their cultures that have existed for thousands of years." If you don't want to take Overpeck's word for it, see for yourself. It's difficult to deny what the flood maps are showing us. 7. Then there's all the usual stuff: You know, the crap you've been trying to ignore, e.g. habitat loss, animal and plant extinctions, impacted food supplies, drought, disappearing bees, and a little something I like to call the end of the world as we know it. 8. It just might kill you: The World Health Organization estimates 150,000 people are killed by climate-change-related issues every year. If none of the above seven reasons get you, there's always cardiovascular disease or death by smog or malaria or malnutrition. Wanna get involved in fighting global warming right now? Simple first step: Go vegan. There are at least 101 reasons to do so, not the least of which is that such life choices can have a major, positive impact on our environment. For example, a U.N. Report found that animal agriculture is responsible for almost 1/5 of the pollution causing global warming. "Livestock are one of the most significant contributors to today's most serious environmental problems," said Henning Steinfeld of the UN Food and Agriculture Organization. "Urgent action is required to remedy the situation." P.S. Even if you still think the whole climate change thing is a hoax, going green won't hurt anyone...except greedy corporations, that is.
