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Green Sex is our regular column on sexual health and eco-friendly romance. Got a question? Need answers? Leave a comment below.
Sometimes love knows no boundaries. We fall for someone special and the world seems more right than it ever has. Then just as we think things can't get any better, they start to get worse. We begin to notice things about our non-environmentalist partner that annoys us. What happens is in the early stages of a relationship, couples are enthralled by both their similarities and differences. Instead of seeing these differences as bad, they see them as novel and exciting.
But the one thing about novel and exciting we can always count on, is eventually they will become the familiar and expected. When that happens, all the little things you used to find cute and quirky about your partner, suddenly become annoying and argumentative. These can be small things, such as the occasional comment that global warming is a mockery to human intelligence, or perhaps a choice, such as only drinking bottled water while working out at the gym.
You could always trade them in for a new model, but before you do, here are a few tips to help make such a relationships work.
Remember What First Attracted You
Instead of thinking about all the ways that you are different from your partner, think about their strengths that drew you to them in the first place. Surely there was something that attracted you about their character. Perhaps it was their love of nature, their restless spirit, or their determination to take the occasional risk. Whatever it was, reacquaint yourself with it.
Opposites Compliment Each Other
Perhaps you are not looking at the relationship the way you used to. We've all heard that opposites attract, and to a big degree they often do in the beginning. The problem is, opposites also create a lot of negative spark once the newness of a relationship wears off. Instead of dwelling on the negative, consider how your partner's differences inspire you to be a better person.
If you are the environmentalist, perhaps their unstructured view on life can help you relax from time to time and not take everything so seriously. Perhaps your view of the environment can help them find a new passion for nature. The point is, there are probably positive characteristics in each of you that compliments the other, making you both better people in some way.
Compromise is Key
Once you recognize the complimenting characteristics of your partner, the best way to benefit from this is through compromise. While compromise does not always mean change, it does mean the willingness to change. If you are not willing to change for your partner, you cannot expect them to change for you, and vice versa. Compromise means that while you may not see things eye to eye, you at least understand each other and are willing to meet somewhere in the middle.
Perhaps you are willing to accept your partner drinking bottled water, as long as they promise to recycle the bottles. They did not have to make an unreasonable change, you did not have to change at all, and this may have started a positive trend in eco-conscious behavior that will hopefully continue. As long as you both are willing to work on your differences, a relationship in eco-turmoil does not necessarily signal the end.
The Silver Lining
To survive a relationship with a non-environmental partner it takes both communication and compromise, two skills necessary for any relationship to succeed. Without communication you have no way of understanding the problem, and without compromise, you have no means to constructing a solution! Remember, differing points of view can add substance and dimension to a relationship as long as the couple can agree on at least one thing...and that is compromise!
